Back to school.....

Back to School….

Well all the little kiddie-do’s went back to school this week. You could almost hear the collective sigh of relief through-out the region as parents everywhere put those little ones on the bus. Half hour later what sounded like thunder was not your local weather but rather the groans of every teacher as they dealt with classes of crying kindergarterners and swearing teenagers. God bless those poor things as they struggle to help guide our offspring – I know I couldn’t do it. The fact that I kept my two children alive to the point of school-age is a miracle in itself. Ingrained upon my memory was holding my colicky daughter at three weeks of age and crying along with her thinking, “Why on earth did I do this to myself?” Five years later, with saggy body parts, ten more wrinkles and the loss just about every hair on my head I have to remind myself that in the end it is worth it. Ninety percent of child-rearing is living hell but the other ten percent is so wonderful it keeps you from jumping off the bridge.
The fact that I’ve passed onto my 6yr-old bad habits like swearing better than any truck driver is a mute point. “It was bound to happen in her teens, anyway,” I reason. I fondly remember the first time my little darling picked up on this odd new slang of expressing one’s anger. We were driving in the “mama mini-van” (Lord help me I finally broke down and got one – oy!) when another driver cut me off in a very near miss. Without thinking I yelled, “You A$$hole!” From the her car seat my darling child holding onto her ducky for dear life asked, “Mommy, why did you call him that?” So I begin to answer her, “Well, you see he ran a red light and red means stop….” And just when I was beginning to wonder why I was explaining traffic laws to a toddler wouldn’t you know it but yet another car runs a stop sign and pulls out onto the road in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes to avoid a collision. Without missing a heart beat I hear a little voice yell out, “Look, Ma, there’s ANOTHER A$$hole!” Chip off the old block.
So with a big smile on my face I stood alongside my own mother and took pictures of her getting on the school bus and waved a tearful goodbye. I ponder what experiences my daughter will encounter in first grade this year and all the wonders her little mind will absorb and breathe a sigh of relief that she has a good teacher to guide her. Someone that will help un-do all the mistakes I’ve made thus far and set her on a steady path of good manners, education and ambition. The glow of the moment ended abruptly however when my mother, filled with the unique ability to inflict catholic guilt on everyone she knows, says “I just don’t see why you just can’t home school.” [Smirk] Till next time….